I'm tired!

Hi everyone,
I am back from my trip and slightly recovered from the very long day. When it was all said and done, I had been up straight for 21 hours. I've done that before, but this just exhausted me to a different level. Ever since I have had my kids, I get motion sickness pretty easily and so I have to take dramamine to get through flights. I get the non drowsy or less drowsy kind, but it still just makes me feel sleepy!

My day started at 3 a.m. I got in the shower and ready for the day, and was out the door by 4 a.m. I drove myself and made it to the airport by 4:45. My flight took off at 6 a.m. I made it in the airport and there was a pretty long line of people checking their bags. The line for people checking bags and the line for people checking in without bags to print off their boarding pass is the same line and so it took some time to get to the front. I get to the kiosk to print my boarding pass, and scan my information and the machine asks for my passport. Thankfully I had it because I recently lost my driver's license and while I had the temporary driver's license that they give you, I brought along my passport just in case that wasn't enough. But why was it asking for my passport? I caught the attention of one of the attendants and asked her why this would be asking for my passport when I'm just flying within the United States and so she did some checking. Papua New Guinea was my destination apparently that day. Uh NO! That is not where I need to be going! The attendant was pretty adamant about it and started asking about whether I wanted to pay to change it. Umm, no I don't want to pay. I have a confirmation number and an itinerary that confirms my travels and where I'm going. Since my flight had been booked by a travel agent that works with the surrogacy agency, I contacted their emergency number and spoke with someone who was very helpful and had no earthly idea as to why I would be booked for Papua New Guinea. She spoke to the attendant for me, and within seconds I had my boarding pass. Phew!

By the time all this had to be sorted out, it was getting close to boarding time. Not freaking out yet, but getting there. I make my way to the security line, and another long line is in front of me. There are a lot of people flying out on a Friday morning at the butt crack of dawn, FYI. Got through security and made it to my gate for their final boarding call. That is probably the closest I've cut it! Never again!

The rest of the travel part went fine. There were a few 10 minute delays but if it hadn't been for those, I wouldn't have had time to pee the whole day! I landed my flight, and boarded the train to Bridgeport, Connecticut. It was a two hour ride with several stops in between, and I was so tired and wanted to sleep but was afraid I would miss my stop! From the train, I took a taxi to the clinic.  I arrived 2 hours early! I hadn't eaten anything but a yogurt parfait that morning and was starving but there wasn't anything around and I wasn't going to walk anywhere to find it. The clinic had some crackers, so I munched on that.

They took my blood, and I provided a urine sample and then waited to see the doctor. I waited almost 2 hours for that. The doctor is very nice! He is personable, and made me feel comfortable right away. The more involved I get with this, the more I learn about the science of this process and that different clinics do things different ways in terms of growing the embryos and the different drugs that are prescribed. I will have to take a couple more drugs than before but they won't be for a very long period of time, and mainly just within the five days after the embryo transfer.

The odds are optimistic, but also realistic. What I mean by that is, there are a couple of options the intended parents have to have a child. We are going to be doing a fresh embryo transfer this time, and the doctor thinks that this is best. There are two frozen embryos right now, but we will use those if this first round with the fresh embryos doesn't take. (I hope it does!!!). If their embryos, fresh or frozen, do not work, it will be suggested to them that they use an egg donor, which they are open to. The chances of conceiving at this point, go up to 80%, where as now I'm looking at about 50/50 with two fresh embryos transferred in. It basically comes down to the age of the egg. A 40 something year old egg, has less of a chance that a 20 something year old egg from an egg donor, but the doctor is optimistic with the eggs we'll be using since in the past they have been very good quality eggs. I want to be prepared for any of the outcomes at this point, especially having gone through a failed transfer before. While I know that there was nothing that I did or didn't do that prevented the embryo from making a home in my uterus for a while, I still feel responsible and will feel responsible if we don't get the outcome we all want.

This is a long process! There are so many variables and outcomes and I just want things to go well for the intended parents. They are such a sweet couple, and will make great parents!

The embryo transfer is scheduled for the first week of December. The intended parents will arrive before I do, so that they can retrieve the eggs and fertilize them, and then I will arrive a few days later, closer to when the embryos are ready to be transferred and the procedure will be done. Please keep me in your prayers whenever you think about it. I was kind of down yesterday just thinking about the odds and I let it get to me a little bit. I know that we have options and that eventually one way or another, the intended parents will have a baby, I just found myself dreading the time it takes for all of this. I'm in better spirits today, and intend to stay that way. The power of positive thinking right?

I have started the Lupron shot and my first dose was last night. This is the one that goes in my stomach, and not a big deal. I did it to myself which seems easier and less painful than if Troy gives it to me. I will post again when I have more information to share. The monitoring and the blood work will start the first week of November, and I will report the results! Pray people, pray! :)

Thanks so much,
Sarah