I know you have all been waiting for the results. First, let me just say that I am absolutely exhausted. What a day this has been. I have been up since 5 am, and on pins and needles ever since. Today, is December 19, and today is the day that I found out the results are POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My day began with a blood draw and then the waiting game continued. I tell you, I was about to lose my ever loving mind! I do mean lose it! I think my brain processed every single scenario possible and some of them weren't that great! I have felt so different from the very beginning of this process since I got matched with my new couple. They are just the nicest, sweetest couple and they so deserve this miracle! About two or three days after I got back from my trip, a weird feeling crept into my chest and has stayed with me all this time. Part of the reason why I was so anxious and nervous was because I did not know if I could handle another negative result. The number of people involved in my journey, the number of people at the fertility clinic, my husband and my kids, and most importantly the intended parents for their sacrifice and ultimate desire to have a child, all of it has resulted in this. I was so worried and nervous that the results wouldn't be positive and the process would start all over again. Don't get me wrong, I would do whatever it took for the intended parents to have a child, I just was feeling the pressure and the enormity of the situation.
At about 2:30 I couldn't stand it anymore! I called the clinic in Connecticut where my results had been sent and got the receptionist. I asked for my nurse contact person, and was told she was with a patient and would call me back! About five minutes later, I got a FaceTime call from the intended parents. The intended father's face appeared first on the screen and he was all smiles. Would not stop grinning and he kept repeating the same thing: "You're an amazing woman, you are amazing!" Then he said: "The results are positive, Sarah!" I put my hand over my mouth, my eyes got really big and I started to bawl my eyes out!!! They joined me in tears of happiness! The most gigantic sense of relief came over me and the weight I was feeling on my shoulders lifted! I am still processing it and am probably in a little bit of shock still, but the fact still remains that the results are POSITIVE!!!
Now comes a different set of emotions and feelings. I have come to realize that for someone to put their trust in you, to grow and nurture their baby in the womb, takes an incredible about of strength and I am so thankful that the intended parents have chosen me to do this for them. I am feeling up to the task and am looking forward to nine months from now when I will be handing over a baby to them, God willing! For those of you who have been praying, thank you so much! The intended parents wanted me to pass along a message to all of you who are praying. They are so grateful for your prayers and well wishes and they ask you to continue praying for this process and for this new miracle! They are so touched with your prayers! What a great Christmas present for them! :)
Going forward, on Monday I will have a blood test to check the same levels as today. HCG and Progesterone, and another blood test on Thursday to check them again. They are looking to make sure that the numbers are going up, and also to check if there is a major gap or increase in the levels because that could mean a possibility of twins. EEK! Continue to pray for the levels to climb and for my health to continue on the right path! The HCG level today was 178 and my progesterone level was 48. I was told by the nurse that those are great first levels!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for praying, for supporting, and for reading this blog! Means a lot to me! :)