Thursday, June 18, 2015

Pregnancy Results

Hey all,

I'm sure you are all waiting for an update.  What a long ten days it was waiting for the blood test that would give us the results of this transfer. Unfortunately, I am not pregnant. Wah, wah, waaaahhhh....

Yes, it blows. Blows bad! Like a ginormous elephant just had to blow his nose, and missed the tree as his tissue and you're standing right next to the tree, blows. Like my visual? But what can you do? We have all been anxious, and nervous, and talking about it over the last ten days. I talked with the intended parents a few times during the waiting period and they were so hopeful and excited and so anxious to know.

Yesterday, I went in for the blood draw and was a total mess! I was nervous, my stomach was a little off, and I couldn't sleep passed 5:30 am. The test was at 9:00 am and we got the results around 2:00 p.m. It was a very long five hours for sure. The nurse was nice on the phone and tried to handle the information she had to deliver gracefully, but it must really blow to have to make phone calls like that every day or even once a week, or however much it happens. She told me that it was nothing that I did or didn't do, which I know in my head, but part of me will always wonder. The odds were definitely in our favor, and the doctor himself told the intended parents that he really didn't have a medical explanation for why the embryo didn't attach, just that this is sometimes just one of those things. Not great to hear, especially when you just want an explanation for what went wrong. I asked what we could do differently the next time around and he really said there was nothing they would change. They were pleased with the quality of the embryo, and with how my body responded to the protocol with the medicines and the shots during the cycle. Again, just one of those things. I was told to discontinue all my meds and shots, and to expect my period within the next week or two.

So...after taking some time, I spoke with the intended mother over the phone. They are both obviously disappointed and were very hopeful that this would yield a positive result. But they are also ready to move on, and try for another cycle.

I say, why not?! There are no reasons for why I couldn't go straight into another transfer cycle after I get my period.  So, that is what we are doing. At this point, we are just waiting for my period, so that we can start with the Lupron shots and be on the way to building my uterine lining again. We might have to do a week of birth control just to make sure my own biology doesn't kick back into gear and try to ovulate. The nurse was worried that if we went straight to the Estrogen pills and didn't do the birth control or Lupron, that I might ovulate through the estrogen pills, which would not be ideal. Just part of the process. It takes a good three weeks to do build the uterine lining, so we are aiming for another transfer by the end of July.

Truthfully, this process is exhausting. I felt defeated, weary, and overall sad. I'm sure the intended parents had those feelings, and a thousand more! I can't imagine what they have been through over the last few years with their own trying. I wish I could have a baby for everyone with a struggle! They want another child so bad, I can taste it. I want to provide that for them, and we are in this together! I will do what it takes to give that to them. I definitely knew this was a possibility when I signed myself up to do this again, but of course, hoped it wouldn't take more than one try! This is just the nature of this process, and while extremely disappointing, I tried to prepare myself for this side of things as much as I prepared myself for a positive result. I'm actually looking forward to a little bit of a break from the daily shots of progesterone with the large needle that has to be injected intramuscularly (in my upper butt area). I was starting to get really sore! There's always a bright side, right?

There is a possibility, if the doctor recommends it, that we may transfer in two embryos this next time around, but that is yet to be determined. It will require a little amendment on our contract, but not a big deal. Everything is negotiable, right?!

So, going forward, I want you all to know that I appreciate your support and kind words more than you know! Sharing this news is a little hard, but I am keeping my eye on the prize! I will keep you all updated as we start moving forward with this next cycle. Until then...pray, think happy thoughts, send good vibes, do whatever you do...we need extra this time! :)

Will update when there is something to update!
Thank you so much for reading!!


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