My Last Birth Story

Hi there,
Here I am, about a week since my last post, and I am updating it with my birth story. If you are not one for details, this post may not be the best for you, but this is my way of processing everything, so there will be details involved.

Wednesday was my 37 week checkup. I messaged my boss right before I left to tell her I was headed out for my appointment and that I would check in later that evening. I drove to the doctor's office, it was 2:30 pm. I had to pause walking a few times in the parking lot because of the pelvic pressure. There was another pregnant woman coming out walking with her daughter, and she looked at me and we shared a moment as she said: "we can do this!" I looked back and said:"I'm not sure I can right now!" laugh laugh laugh, and kept walking. Made it to my OB office, and the receptionist checks me in. She asks how I was doing, and I told her that it was the most painful walk I have had in a long time. She shared her condolences and I sat down waiting for the nurse to call me in. I made sure my bladder was full since they would be having me pee, and sat down for a few minutes before the nurse called me in.

The nurse opens the door, looks at me, and just apologizes in general at me. She weighed me, and told me to pee, and that she would meet me in room 1. I did all of that, and waddled into room 1. The nurse follow me in shortly, and she could tell I was out of breath from peeing, so she just chatted with me for a little bit before she took my blood pressure. When she finally took it, it was 158/90. This whole pregnancy, I had been running in the 120's/70-80's range. She looked at me and said: "girl, what's going on with you?!" I said: "Is there protein in my urine?" and she replied so quickly with a yes, that I asked her again, to which she confirmed the protein. She gave my arm a rest for a few, and took my blood pressure again. Still high. She leaves the room to report my blood pressure to my doctor. My doctor comes in and says: "Are you swollen, cuz the scale says you've gained 5 pounds in a week!" I told her that I was wearing the same thing I wore last week, and had kept my shoes and jacket on just like my last weigh in. She looks at my feet, ankles, and legs, and was very surprised to see how swollen they were. She measured my uterus from the outside, and said she thought she could feel the baby's head down, but mentioned getting a sonogram to confirm. I could tell she was worried a little, so I just asked her what was going on, and what was she thinking of doing? She said: "Well, i'm thinking we are going to induce you early, but before I make the final decision, I want to make sure that the baby is head down." Alright then. So she brought a small sono machine in, and checked, and she confirmed the baby was head down. Just to be sure, we had the ultrasound tech that was there that day, with the better ultrasound machine check as well. She said yes, baby is head down, fluid was at a 12, instead of a 14 like it was a week prior, and baby's heartbeat looked great!

I went back to Room 1, and waited for the doctor. She comes in to tell me that she is probably going to induce, and that she is calling over to labor and delivery to tell them I am being brought over there. She decides to check me to see if I have made any change since my last appointment. Was very painful, and I wanted to scream, but I managed to keep it together. She said she couldn't really tell what I was dilated to, if at all, and that she was probably going to do Cervidil tonight to help ripen the cervix before we started actual induction. At this point, it is 3:07 pm. I called Troy since the kids were going to need picked up from school at 3:40, and I didn't think I was going to be making that pickup. I told him what was going on, and he was shocked, but man, he's great in a pinch! I then called my doula, Monica, and let her know what was going on, just so she was ready. I then called the mother. She was still at school, but no students. I usually text first, but this time I just straight called. She answered pretty quickly, and asked if everything was okay, and I said: "I am at the doctor's office. Just had my 37 week checkup. I think doc is going to induce tomorrow morning. Don't book a flight just yet, but start looking at flights and let me know what you can find." We hung up, and doc confirms that I'm going to labor and delivery directly from the room I'm in. There's a wheelchair waiting outside of my room, and so I sit and get wheeled up to hospital labor floor. I called my mom since she would be helping with the kids, and she drove up from Topeka that night. My mind was going a mile a minute. I kept thinking about the kids, work and how I wouldn't be checking in that night, and I was also worrying about who my nurse would be, and just trying to overall psych myself up for what we were going to be doing. I got wheeled into the labor room, and got changed into a gown, and settled into the bed. The nurse came in and started going through the admission process. Sign this form, answer this question, leave her a urine sample, take my blood pressure, and start an IV-only took 2 pokes! Doctor came in to check on me and just let me know what the plan was, and that she would see me in the morning once the cervidil had had time to work.


My mom and my sister, Laura came up to the hospital room, as did my doula, Monica. The Cervidil was placed around 6:00 pm, and so I was just supposed to lay down and let the medicine work. I could have something to eat after two hours of the cervidil in, and that would probably be it before labor started in the morning. My doula was so sweet, and brought me a burger from Red Robin as my last meal lol. It was delicious! Everyone left around 9:30 ish or so, and I got settled into bed closer to 11:00. I slept from 11:00-12:51 and had to get up to pee. As I peed, and wiped, I felt the Cervidil come out onto the toilet paper. I saved it and waddled to the bed, and called the nurse. She came in, and I showed her what had come out, and she said confirmed that it was in fact the Cervidil, and that she was going to have to go call the doctor to see what she would want to do. So I sat tight.

Nurse comes back in, to tell me that the doctor has ordered another Cervidil to be placed, and that it'll just be a few minutes while the pharmacy is getting it ready. I was trying to get comfortable in the bed, but I was miserable. The new Cervidil comes in, and the nurse places it again. This was around 2 ish. From that point on, I started contracting every 5 minutes, sometimes every 3. I was able to rest in between the contractions, but some of them would wake me up and I would just have to breath through them until they passed. I got up to pee once or twice after that, and just tried to get as much rest as I could. I woke up at 6:50 to use the restroom, and knew that my doctor might be popping in anytime after that to check on me and make a game plan for the day. Monica, my doula came up around 7:30 ish, and Troy and my mom were gonna get kids to school and then would be over. My doctor came in, checked me...that was very painful. The Cervidil can make the area raw and very tender, and man did it do that. She declared that I was 4 cm, and that the bag was bulging, and so she wanted to break it. Our thoughts were that she could break my water, I could get up and take a shower, and then we would come back to the bed and she could start pitocin for the induction. So that's what we did. Once she broke my water, I just had to sit on the monitor for 20 minutes, and then I got up to shower. The contractions were still coming at this point, they were bearable, some of them I could talk through, some of them not so much! The shower helped, I at least got to wash my hair! Got out of the shower, was still contracting, and they started getting a little stronger at that point, but I just thought it was because I had been up and moving around, and that once I sat back down, they would stop and we would start the pitocin. That was never the case...while I was in the shower, my mom and Troy arrived. I didn't want to get in the bed just yet, so I just hung out closer to the bed, and would lean against it during a contraction. It seemed to help for those contractions. At around 10:45, the baby's mother and grandmother arrived. They had gotten on a very early flight that morning, landed at 9:45 am, and were brought to the hospital. Perfect timing! We hugged between contractions, and I just tried to focus on getting through each contraction one at a time. After I got tired of standing, I laid down for a bit in the bed. The contractions changed while I was in the bed. They got much much stronger, closer together, and I felt this very weird sensation for the first time ever...it was in my lower belly, during the peak of the contraction, and it was as if my belly was vibrating or quivering on its own. I could feel the baby moving, but didn't really know what that feeling was. It happened a few more times during labor, and I still don't know what that was about or what was causing it.

I started wanting to see if I was dilating, but I was afraid of two things: 1. Being told I wasn't any more dilated than a 4. 2. The pain of being checked. I knew it would cause more contractions too, and they were getting really hard at that point, so I was trying to brace myself. At 11:50, the nurse checked me. I was at 7 cm. Was kind of shocked that I had made progress like that, but contractions were unbearable at that point, there was no where to go to help the pain, and I was just trying to make it through. After I got checked, I asked if I could get in the tub. Folks, I had been really looking forward to this moment for my whole pregnancy. I love hot hot baths, but since those are not safe for pregnancy, I haven't taken one since getting pregnant. And I have heard before that getting in the tub during labor helps tremendously with the pain, and I was getting desperate for some type of relief. Contractions were right on top of each other at this point, I was cramping in the middle of them, and so there never really felt like there was a break in them. I went very internal, my eyes were closed most of the time, but my mind was screaming! Right before I got in the tub, I started panicking, and said out loud that I can't do this, and Monica was great at reeling me back in. I tried to listen to what she was saying, but man it was hard. I got in the tub, sitting on my legs, and felt a little bit of soothing  once my bottom hit the water. Contractions on top of each other, no break, constant cramping in between the peaks of contractions, and when the peak would hit, I would feel this weird but uncontrollable urge to push. This was my first birth without an epidural, and while I can say now with confidence that the epidural didn't help with pain management for contractions, it did numb the urge to push. So this sensation was new to me. So, I'm in the tub, at the peak of the really strong contractions, I was pushing, but not really registering what was happening. The nurse started saying I need to get out because she needed to check me. I flat out refused, and said: "no". She kept saying she needed to check me, so I finally just said: "can you check me in the tub?" She said: "Yep absolutely I can check up in the tub!" Thank you!!! I just kept thinking, I'm not going to be dilated anymore than a 7, and the effort it took to get into this tub was overwhelming, and now you want me to get out of it, when all I'm going to want to do is get back in, but then the effort to do that again was too much to bear, so I changed positions in the tub, and let her check me. Eyes closed, of course, having contractions on top of each other, and no way to escape! lol I didn't hear what the nurse said, so my doula said: "Did you hear that? You're complete. After this next contraction you need to get up and out of the tub". Again, I refused. I just kept thinking, I've still got hours of pushing left per my previous experiences, even if I am complete, doesn't matter, it is still going to be hours, and I wanted to stay in the tub. That wasn't happening apparently. Monica said:"Once this contraction is over, open your eyes, and we will help you out!" I managed to flutter my eyes open for a sec, and between Monica, the nurse, and Troy, I somehow got out of the tub. They toweled me off, huge contractions were hitting, they slipped a gown on me and they helped me walk to the bed. Troy had gotten to the other side of the bed, thank GOD! I got onto the bed, standing on my knees, and had a huge contraction against Troy. If he had not been there, I don't know what I would have done! After that contraction, they had brought the head of the hospital bed up all the way, so I just pivoted and leaned against it. I knew there were people in the room, I did not know their placements, or who all was there, but I was so very internal at this point, I couldn't even talk. With the next contraction, I got this overwhelming intense pressure in my butt like I needed to go number 2. I didn't even care, I just thought, screw it, i'm going to take the poop of my life in this bed, everyone is going to see, and couldn't care less-all thoughts in my head. So I'm pushing and pushing uncontrollably thinking the whole time that I am pooping, and then all of a sudden, the pain and pressure shifts directly to my vagina. And then I realize that the pressure I was feeling to poop was the baby's head. Pushing again, and I feel her head start to crown. I panicked, and screamed: "she's crowning, oh my gosh, she's crowning!" 1. I wasn't in the position I knew I should be in for the baby to come out. 2. I was in complete denial that I was that close to getting this baby out of me. 3. It hurt like hell! 4. What in the world was happening!" So when I said that baby was crowning, the nurse lifted the sheet that had been draped over my back and said: "yep!" and so Monica ran out to the hall to tell the other staff that my nurse needed help, and then ran back in to my bedside. I don't remember how much longer after she crowned did the rest of baby come out, but I don't think it was that long. The nurse caught her.

I opened my eyes for the first time in quite a while, I heard the baby cry, but I was very unaware of what was happening at my feet, behind me. The mother cut the umbilical cord, and they took her over to the warmer. They told me I could turn around, and the first face I saw was Troy's. I just looked at him and said: "That was the craziest thing in the world, and that will never happen again!" lol Then I saw my doctor taking off her jacket, and I then realized that she wasn't in the room when the baby was born. Apparently, she had been waiting for someone to let her know that I was out of the tub, but since there were just minutes between my exit of the tub, and the baby being delivered, that never happened! She then got me all ready to deliver the placenta. I had a tiny tear, so she numbed me really quick, and stitched me up. And then the inevitable pushing on my uterus and belly to get the placenta to come out. It was so tender, I just tried to breath through it, but mostly protesting the pain! It took quite a while for placental to come out. We tried putting the baby on my chest, as sometimes the oxytocin that comes with that, can help release the placenta. I got to check her out, and say hi to my belly buddy! I want to say it was about 30-40 minutes after birth that my placenta came out. Good news is, doctor didn't have to go in and manually scrape it out! She did inject pitocin into the umbilical cord to help the whole process, so that did cause some intense cramping and contractions. I was able to pick the baby up off of my chest, and hand her back over to her mother. They got me somewhat cleaned up, and I was just able to sit in the bed. I did ask for the pain meds as the cramping was pretty intense still, and at that point, I was over being in pain! Give me the juice! lol

I got to order something to eat, and mother and baby and everybody else in the room was able to hang out with all of us as we enjoyed the time together! I was in complete shock that this had happened the way it had, but super grateful for the pain to be over, and to not be pregnant anymore!!!

So my doctor called it gestational hypertension and mild pre-eclampsia, which is why we induced at 37 weeks 1 day. Was in labor for 4 1/2 hours if you just count from water breaking to delivery. Shortest labor I have ever had, but the most painful, intense, and rewarding thing I have done! The mother and baby got moved to a post partum room, I got my room, and we saw each other frequently. My kids got to hold the baby, Kynlee even got to feed her a bottle, and Brae just kept commenting on how cute and littler her fingers were. He loves babies, just like his daddy.

I am home now, trying to rest and recover from the pregnancy itself, and the birth! I'm super engorged at the moment, but I'm prepared for this part, and just going to make it through! The mother and baby arrived home in New York late last night! Everyone is doing really well! I will be back to update after my 6 week checkup. Thank you all for reading this post! I am trying to process the finality of what this journey means for me. It is the end of an era almost for me and surrogacy has been my life for years now. I applied for my first journey when I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter. She is turning 6 years old in 2 months! I have been pregnant for most of her life. Just gotta make that shift as it comes! I am super grateful for the people around me, my friends, my family, my coworkers who have experienced surrogacy before, and who have advocated for me when I said I could return to work right after delivery. They were right, I need a little bit of time to just recover overall! I also want to give a special shout out to my husband. As most of you know, pregnancy is not easy. He has been patient with me, but also gotten frustrated at times, throughout this process when the hormones have overtaken his wife. I don't blame him one bit! He is an amazing husband and father, he loves me and supports me in everything I do, and I don't know where I would be without him. I love you babe!

Thank you all so much for reading!

Sarah